A gay night

Being a lifelong fag hater, there are some things that would fall far from my comfort zone. Among these things are smacking a buddy in the ass, giving a bear hug to a buddy for more than 3 seconds even if he is going for good, sharing a bed together drunk, and most of all, going to a gay night club. I do not know what had gotten into me, but I suggested just that. Perhaps it was more of a dare than a desire. Perhaps it was out of curiosity. Regardless, it is DEFINITELY NOT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY ON THE INSIDE, SO SHUT YOUR GAPS, YOU FAGS.

Anyway, Rahim, Calvin, Jason (all of whom I only met two or three weeks ago and are straight as far as I know or hope) and I proceeded from Darling Harbour towards gayland (Oxford Street). Bear in mind that I hate drinking or going to any places at night or whatsoever but once the ball starts rolling, we ain't got a choice but to roll with it. The walk was rather uninteresting aside from a brawl that took place right in front of a queue.

As expected, even the street was almost more than Calvin and I could tolerate. With transvetites, guys with make-up, a guy wearing a leather tight pants and the like, we knew that the night was going to be memorable (hopefully without us having to pay with our anal virginities). We must have scouted the place for about 20 minutes trying to look for a decent gay night club which was not too hardcore. Jason found a decent bar, but unfortunately, it wasn't a gay one. Man, I feel myself getting a little more gay with each word I type.

Anyway, throughout the walk, Calvin and I were getting weaker by the minute. Every bar or club we passed by seemed to be more than we could handle. It was among those moments when I realised something. I was not going to back out. I may be a homophobic, but for that night, I was Bryan the gay bar hunter. Jason was disturbingly enthusiastic about finding a gay night club, Calvin seemed to have a priceless disturbed look on his face, and Rahim disappeared. Damn......3 of us were left to complete the mission. It doesn't get any gayer than this. Three guys entering a gay bar together.

Regardless, for the greater good of humanity, we pushed on while in the mean time praying that none of us would be getting any sex that night. After making rounds and not detecting any "decent" gay night club, we finally decided to enter one that we had passed by earlier. It was by no means tame at all, but it was somehow better than the one with a big transvetite with wig waving at us while we passed by.

As we entered (after I voluntarily showed my ID because I look like a 16 year old), I prayed that no situations would arise. I wanted to blend in with the gay crowd, and yet would strongly be disturbed if we were somehow successful. Anyway, everything in there seemed fine (apart from guys with make-up dancing with each other). All we needed was to have a good time without bending over. With our drinks, we proceeded upstairs to erm...scout the surroundings.

All we dared to do was to get a seat at the bar with our backs facing the inside to prevent any ass groping. This is the only place I fear for my ass besides the stairs in my apartment if my gf is behind (lets just say she loves to poke). Everything in there was awkward to me. Gay guys around somehow paid little attention to us. I suspect that they have a gay antenna, and they were not receiving the required signals from us, much to my delight. I'd go on and on about gays, gays, and more gays, but really, there isn't much to be said about them, apart from a couple who was kissing at one corner of the room. Wonder if Jason or Calvin saw that.

We just sat at the bar, scouting and chatting like all gay guys do. Wait, I mean chatting normally as if we were gays in a gay night club (but we are not). After being in that hellhole for what seemed like an eternity, we left, but not without listening to some good music and learning much about life. Jason came up with a new theory: guys in a gay bar with their backs facing the bar are straight. Calvin declared that the night was merely an identity check which thankfully ended up with us being proven to be straight. As for me, for once, I was happy that my night ended without sex.